Quotes of the Day

Two buddies talking. One from NYC (Bronx), apparently a bartender, visiting Philly says to his buddy, “you want to come visit me in NYC and do meth? Or, we could do shot of Jaegermeister.” The conversation turns to drug use in Philly and NYC and he says, “anyone that wants a drink with cafeine and alchohol is not cool enough to have their own coke dealer.”

“The potholes in Philly are so bad, knock a tampon out a bitch’s p*.”

“Growing up, even though both of my parents were on crack, I didn’t come out with three eyes on my back. I am pretty f*ing gorgeous.”

“I am broke. I spent all my money on underwear and food.”

Girl talking to a co-worker on the phone about work drama at Sugarhouse Casino related to sexual advances she supposedly made to a male co-worker. “I don’t even know what’s going on with MY private parts let alone what’s going on with someone else’s private parts.”

Mother in front seat. Three kids in the back. One kid says, “Mom, did you fart?” Priceless.

How about this romantic line. Guy talking to his girl on the phone…”Baby, you need to be getting pregnant. I may just pour champagne on your ass.”

Girl to her girlfriend in the car….”when we go out, my friends go right to the bar as soon as we arrive, but I go look for a man to buy me a drink.” Classy.